I am as graceful as a drunken sailor stumbling along the dock. I was elsewhere when grace was distributed. And yet I love club dancing, actually I used to be quite good at it many moons ago (in another life).
I recently joined a gym after close to 15 years of not exercising. I figured it would be a healthy place for me to spend energy, and exercise, not that I need to loose weight I only weigh 110 lb but I do need to tone up, and my attitude needs adjustment. So here I am back at the gym and attending Zumba and Yoga classes. Yesterday was Yoga, today was Zumba it kicked my butt. My current diet is not supporting me exercising, and that is making me feel worse. I have no appetite to begin with, so it will be interesting to see how I manipulate myself to eat more protein (good luck). I am a meat eater, I love my meat, but I eat it rarely. I only crave meat when I exercise in any capacity.
It is hysterical when I look at myself during Zumba, I am a dorky mess. My hips can move but not in conjunction or coordinated with the rest of my body. Once I am comfortable with the beat of the music and the steps I think the rest of me will coordinate better. I can at least hope. When I can stop needing to watch the instructors feet to count the steps I will be able to get out of my head and
“feel” the music.
The gym is total sensory overload, I cannot begin to describe what happens when I walk in the door. There are smells (and not so pleasant ones), there are too many sounds, and the movements, talk about too much. I have set a goal for myself, I will work thru all of the sensory overload, sounds, smells, and sights and achieve my goal, if nothing else because tenacity is an integral component of my matrix. There is more to this goal, I am not ready to share the rest of it. Time will tell, I promise.
I am still in motion (obviously), and know that someday I will be able to say “life is good” again.