It has been a while since I have had a therapy (blogging) session. I have been busy and unavailable to my self. My kids are exceptionally needy right now, and my job well I am still employed.
Last Thursday one of the owners of the company pulled me into his office and informed me that they are selling part of the company, and they would be reducing the work staff too (I was told a few names, but not all). They wanted to let me know before it all came down the pipeline so I could get my “worries” out before. I appreciate the respect they have shown me in doing that, but man what a heavy load to carry. On Friday the “deal” was finalized, on Monday The first employee in my department was informed of some of the changes, and that she would be staying on but in a slightly different capacity. Then the next person was told about the sale, and that certain individuals would either be let go immediately or in a short period of time, and that it has not been decided about their position or employment with the company. Holly schnikes, the fur hath begun flying. Tuesday, I suggested to my coworker a plan of action that may help, sadly there had to be an immediate sacrifice (that was evident), so I suggested the lamb to the altar for the ritual sacrifice (the newest and most dispensable employee), then the second step was to describe the volume of tasks (but not kvetching about it). With that in mind then to state an appropriate time frame to accomplish the tasks. Kudos to my self, it actually worked, one employee was let go immediately, and another was informed that they will receive a paycheck for the next three weeks (even if the tasks are complete in one week). There were five people in this department, now we are down to three, the one that was told a decision has not been made is in a state of limbo. Two of us have essentially been told our positions are secure (what ever that means in this topsy turvey environment).
There will also be cuts in other departments throughout the company. Effective immediately there will be several people that I have known and worked with over the past two years gone, as quickly as they came into my life (I or they were employed with this company) they are gone.
I am still trying to wrap my head around all of this, meanwhile not over thinking it. For the past 10 months a person I categorize with the suits (even though they are not the typical suit person) has been my muse, mench, mentor, and guidance counselor. They have been supportive of me as a person, and an employee. They have watched me embarrass myself crying, laugh at my self for stupid mistakes (also enjoying laughing with and at me), they have listened to me rant and rave about my kids, my personal life, all the while nudging me when necessary and guiding me to be a better person and employee, and hopefully a better parent too. This person is also leaving, (abandoning me is what it feels like). They are still a partner, but they are stepping out and far away from “OPERATIONS/IT”.
To put it simply, my muse/mentor and my team will be gone within two weeks time. I am strong, capable, clever, and maybe this is not about me. How could I not wonder what the plan is for me on a higher level? I have seen countless employees come and go in two years time, while I have basically been told my job is secure, I am unable to feel secure. My employer has historically allowed me to keep my own work schedule so long as productivity is visible, I have proven my loyalty and productivity, but is the best place for me? Is this a healthy environment for me? Or for anyone?
While I do not celebrate the upcoming holiday, I have empathy for those that do, and now may not be able to celebrate or enjoy.
I am sure in six months or a year I will look back on this experience and wonder why all the hoopla, by then the outcome will be known. Until then the hoopla is an unnecessary evil.
Life will be good!!!!!