Part of divorce is sharing the offspring, but not sharing parenting. This is a loaded subject, that I am sure everyone and their dog has something to say about. Here are some of my thoughts:
Before I filed for divorce, I did a cost basis analysis, and found that it was costing me more that it was worth to remain married. The well of love hath runnith dry. And I was feeling the effect of lack of spirituality, respect, support, and love (not physical, but emotional and mental). It was time to cut bait, it was not my idea of a good time, nor did I actually expect my ex to remarry so quickly (should have known better he is the epitome of co-dependent). In his remarrying the children and I have suffered. How is this you ask? Well first she is a bigot, second she may be his queen or goddess, but she is not mine and I will not answer to her, but she will answer to me when it comes to my children. They have absolutely no clue how to “deal” with our kids, specifically our son. He is difficult (opposition-ally defiant), and I thought my fathers obstreperousness was a bear to deal with. My son is young and does not grasp that sometimes your have to do what you have to do irrelevant of why or what you want, it just is. I have had to file petitions in court to gag her and her family for disparaging remarks about me or our religion. I do not speak disparagingly or negatively of my children’s father or his wife, my kids see the difference between the way I live and the way they live without me ever saying or comparing.
So a couple of months ago I asked my ex if he would split the cost of a Kindle Fire for our son, initially he said yes, then typical he resigned his offer, with some cockamammy song and dance that he could not afford it, and for Christmas they gave our daughter a Nook, and another pair of binoculars (the last set is still sitting on the shelf collecting dust). When I was asked by the grandparents gift ideas for Christmas the very first thing was Kindle gift cards because we read the Kindle all the time. Before all is said and done we will each have a Kindle. Why and I surprised they gave my daughter a Nook? Why am I surprised they did not equally gift both children?
Now upon the children’s return I will have to “balance” the lack of gift balance. Thank you, you are so thoughtful and considerate.