I was talking with a friend this morning and had an epiphany that I feel compelled to write about.
My kids informed me as I was driving them to school that their father was planning on having a roller skating birthday party for them (my two children share a birthday). I asked my kids if that was what they asked for or if it was what was offered, they both replied “it was Daddy’s idea”. Neither of my kids are avid skaters (skating rinks seem to not exist where we currently live), while they have enjoyed exposure to it in the past it is not an activity they would select from a list.
What upsets me the most about this whole ordeal is the selfishness that is involved. To begin with we live 30 miles apart, secondly most of my kids friends are Jewish and many observe Shabbat. So why does the intelligent, considerate, doting father want to have a second birthday party for our kids 30 miles from home on a Saturday when most of their friends would not be able to attend? Why go to the additional expense (gee perhaps you could put that money towards paying your half of the medical bills you claim unable to pay), does it make you feel like a better parent to say “I put on a party for my kids birthday?” if it does words are cheap, cause buddy these kids see right thru you and your wife. Both kids have stated the “party” is more about Daddy than us.
I am somewhat angry about all of this, especially the competition. Lets evaluate the scenario, 30 miles apart, Shabbat (you do not celebrate but you know what it is you were married to me for almost 10 years), etc, etc. Here is a thought not that you have ever listened to me use the monies you would spend on a party (the kids do not even want, and are not impressed by) to buy them better gifts. Maybe something they can actually use (cause the Christmas gifts were a flop, some have been returned and others are collecting dust same as the ones from last year that were never touched). and when you think about gifts for these two bright, intelligent, articulate children try thinking about what they would want not what you think you would want if you were them (because you were nothing like what they are). I am not insecure, and are not looking for competition, but really what all the hoopla over a birthday party, he has never been interested since our divorce in “celebrating” the kids birthday. Or is this really his wife and her silly insignificant games she tries to play (and looses every time with me). Look you were married to me for nearly 10 years, you know what kind of festivities I can put on and on a tight budget too (after all I am Jewish). Why are we dancing this dance again?
There are more things I coulda shoulda woulda say, my mother always taught me “if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say any thing at all”.
Life is good, we are warm, full bellies (King Cake is available again yahooooo), happy pets, employed, breathing!!!!!!