I work diligently at being cognizant to how I respond in a few specific subjects (wish I could be like that for everything life would be easier), specifically with regards to my ex-husband.
I am still grappling with how to respond to his statement that he is not taking the kids this summer because wifeypoo’s parents are not paying for a vacation until after Christmas, and in the same breath can he please take them this year (it is my year) after Christmas for the “family vacation” (that wifeypoo’s parents are paying for).
It is ok for me to have to pay for all of the boring but expensive expenses ie: medical, day camp, sleep away camp, child care, activities, etc. While I would love for the kids to have exposure to snow skiing, I am uncomfortable with them driving in a van with wifeypoo for umpteen hours to get to destination. You see my son and wifeypoo are very inflammatory together, in fact he opts to skip most visits because she will not allow him any breathing space. She takes his cell phone (that I also pay for 100%) and goes thru it reading his text, and asking who the numbers belong to, not your business!!!! My phone, my son, my business!!! I am not interested in your opinion on any of it. In the divorce decree we are supposed to split any and all medical expenses 50/50 (standard), every time I give the ex a receipt he stuffs it into his pocket and starts complaining about not having any money. Not my problem anymore, you chose to have children, now you need to grow up and learn how to manage money and make personal sacrifices to ensure your children have what they need (not want, but need). More simply put, stop eating out (even if it is just once a week at Mc Donald’s), remember your son has to take three different medicines every day there are regular monthly costs for this, kids have accidents and you cannot “be broke” if the children need medical attention while going to Starbucks.
I also grapple with if I try to enforce the 30 day possession in the summer he will take the kids, and park them at his mothers office four to five days a week so he can go to work or do whatever it is he does. Not a healthy environment for my son, he needs structure and activity. He will last a few days at best in an unstructured environment, then he explodes in a rage on whatever gets in his way. So is it worth trying to enforce the visit? I dunno. ho hum… Last summer I even offered to pay for day camp when they went to their fathers, he still would not inconvenience himself to have to take and pick them up off his normal path of travel. How about that father of the year award you were vying for when you tried to sue me for custody. Jerkwad!
Life is good the kids are asleep dreaming of… ice cream rivers with pineapple, cherry, strawberry and banana river banks, and chocolate and marshmallow boulders and rocks. Feathers are quietly resting dreaming about peanut and sunflower fields, furbabies are dreaming about digging and finding something stinky. I just finished four spinach tamales have a full belly and are going to bed.