I will be honest I copied this above picture from another web site, but it resonates loudly to me. I remember years ago (and boy does that make me feel old, and proud) being angry all the time. I had reasons to be angry, it was justified.
What was not reasonable or justified was how I did or did not deal with the anger. It was a badge of honour (of sorts). What I realize now is that I was merely confused by the raw unadulterated emotions that are mixed up with anger. I was proud for having survived the situations that made me angry, looking back it took a few repeats for me to learn some of the valuable lessons.
I was (and still can be) sharped tongued, there is a difference between sharp tongue and split/forked tongue; by this I mean I can be cocky, snippy, possibly even down right crappy, but never ever have I spoken with malice or ill will. Never to speak with malice is somehow part of my nature, even when I have wanted to and it was warranted I have always refrained. Something my parents ingrained into me as if it was one of the Ten Commandments is “do unto others as you would have done unto you“. I try to teach this to my children (I hope it takes effect soon).
Something I learned when I took a course in DBT was Wise Mind [Wise mind is the balance between reasonable mind and emotion mind… it is the “middle way.”]
When something gets my hair up, or I start to feel that anxty feeling of I want to
REACT I stop, breathe, and breathe, and breathe. Which organically forces me to:
1) Focus on Breath
2) Drop Into Pauses
4) Breathe “Wise” In, Breathe “Mind” Out
Life is good, Love for yourself and for others makes life better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!