It was my nephews Bar Mitzvah… You see I have three half brothers that have never included me in much of their lives, life events, simchas, or anything. Somehow I connected with this particular wife (was actually spur of the moment), I was able to take off work last Thursday and Friday (I have close to 300 PTO hours at work since I never take time off) to help her set up for the events. As each event occurred we were invited to the next, and then the next. For the first time (all of my brother’s kids are grown, this was the last one) I actually was allowed to participate as an insider (not an outsider looking in). I was invited to the Friday night family dinner, the Saturday services, Kiddish luncheon, Saturday afternoon mah jong, Saturday night Party, and Sunday Morning Brunch. While it all sounds trivial, and why do I even care about interacting with people who have not accepted me my entire life, and often made me feel like a lepper, it was quite validating. It felt good not be a lepper for once, I do not deny that I at times was not social, and probably less than approachable (communication is bi-directional).
I got some great ideas for my impending simcha slated for 11 months away (my sons Bar Mitzvah). I also observed some things not to do. I hope my son will mature over the next 11 months, I saw an amazing transformation in my nephew and his speech was very impressive. It was focused on appreciating what you have instead of kvetching about what you do not have.
My trials and tribulations with my son have not subsided, they are still full steam ahead, apparently there is still more “standardized testing” to occur (that was what actually started this last episode). The psychiatrist prescribed Prozac (the therapist wanted me to consider antipsychotics, which I absolutely undoubtedly are unwilling to discuss or consider). How do you get a 12 yo boy to grasp that it takes a few days after starting a new medicine to “feel normal” again. I do not want my son sedated, or “medicated”, I just want him to enjoy life, find pleasure, joy and stop raging.
We shall see, I will give it a couple of weeks to see how his body responds to the new med.
Life is good, I am still employed today (maybe not tomorrow), everyone (bi-ped and quad-ped) is in bed, I think I will study the inside of my eyelids for a few hours too.