How to take it when someone shares their opinion

Published July 2, 2013 by emotionless brain

Especially if you do not like or agree with it. I had a conversation with a girlie friend today that was just this. There were parts of the conversation I agreed with, and parts I did not.

The entire conversation was focused on “dating”, you see after her 10 year loveless marriage she went thru what she called “the divorce crazies”, I did not. She was still a mom thru all her experiences with three kids. She is five years younger than I, she was born when I was learning how to ride a bicycle. My marriage was also a 10 year loveless ordeal, not nearly as abusive and torrid as hers, one significant difference was that before I was married I chose to play, party and have fun. I got “the crazies” out before I settled down to marriage and children. So post divorce I just did not have the urge or feel the need to “do it again”, you see 2008 was my year of D’s, in chronological order: Death, my father died; destruction, a natural disaster destroyed my home; divorce, as promised to my father on his death bed I finally got divorced; oh and my 19 yo dog that was my best best friend and partner in crime had to be put down, age had taken its toll on him.

I think it is fair to say post divorce she and I were in very different places. We also are very different people, she is a feely, emotional. social butterfly, sappy individual (whom I do not judge in any way). I am colder, stiffer, not such a social butterfly, not touchy or feely, and do not put me and sappy in the same sentence (again I do not judge her, just noting differences). She is always telling me to “show love” to my kids, little does she know I do, I hug them, love them, and cuddle with them every chance I get, I just do not talk about it.

I think she has the wrong idea about my being smitten by someone. Co-dependence is not part of my matrix, I am insanely independent (yes probably to my own detriment). While I enjoy sex, it is not a focus or priority. Between my age and being a single parent that is 1000% devoted to my kids who has time, energy, or desire to be bothered. You see sex while it is fantastic, fun, feels great, it also can be destructive, demeaning, detrimental, and debilitating (too many d’s again). My being smitten is real, when I felt intoxicated by his presence it was real, not lust, infatuation, co-dependence, or hormonal. You see I have experienced all those things before, I think I know me and I think  I know the difference. I have a pretty serious exterior (don’t get me wrong I have fun, and know how to be jubilant, foot loose and fancy free), Not everyone “NEEDS” physical contact (sex) to be validated, or feel good.

Twice today I heard or read something about when people date they do to the next what was egregiously done to them in the previous relationship. Now there is food for thought…

Life is good, I am so busy with work at the moment I do not have time to think about my social life. Furbabies are good, feathers are good, kids come home in five days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whooooo hoooooo,


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