This evening I took a rather luxurious bath (albeit in the regular brown water that serves my house), while in the bath I was studiously reading the book “not your mothers rules of dating”. It is an excellent book, and I am learning a lot from it.
Earlier in the evening I made a reference to Mr.S about is a challenge really what he wants, or would he prefer to just have the sex (you had to be there to understand the context, it sounds odd here but it was fitting for the conversation). His reply I think insinuated that he is weak to me, he does not need convincing to want to be with me. If I say come hither, he will be there. If I understood it correctly, I may be wishful thinking too. Have I mentioned recently that dating is frustrating and confusing, CAUSE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I invited him over for a late night visit, no biggie I want it just as much as he does (wow desire and libido after childbirth and divorce, who knew). We actually have been making a regular thing of it about twice a week, with the nights in between to rest and miss each other. One of these days one of my kids will be the wiser and bust me, that will be both hysterical and totally embarrassing. So he texted after my bath to ensure the kids were asleep, and I responded accordingly. I then mentioned I was reading the book, and jokingly said please don’t label me “booty call girl”, to which he replied “that would make me the booty call boy”. Too funny, I said sometimes reading is not always so healthy.
This evening was a little different, first of all he came commando (which he never does). We talked as we always do, then we got undressed, I sense a comfort developing between us, our bodies are moving more in sync with each other. The rhythm is easier and quicker to get to. I have always been someone who moves to a different beat, there have been very few people in my life I have ever connected rhythms with (not even my ex-husband could find my rhythm much less connect with it). I am not sure what or if any of it means anything, I do not know and honestly right now I do not care.
I am enjoying every moment of it. The twinkle is back in my eye, I am smiling, and I feel good about myself. Mr.S while I do not want to think about if things do not work between us you have been an amazing influence in my life. Do not ever sell yourself short, what happened between you and your ex-wife was a tragedy, but it is part of you do not let that keep you down. The motto for now is “break the chains that bind”, come on baby you can do it!!!!
Life is good, I am employed, feathers and furbabies are sleeping, kids are sleeping. Sadly I will not have Mr.S to snuggle with tonight, I also enjoy having my own space. Taking it one day at a time, as my muse keeps saying, no matter how thirsty you are do not gulp the beverage, sip it slowly and enjoy!