I peeked in my spam bin this evening and found a comment from someone that said; Your blog began to get boring, so I stopped reading. I looked at your last few posts and they are getting interesting again so I will will pull you back into my blog reading list”.
This amuses me because some people loved when I was blogging about my interpersonal interactions, and others like when I just ramble, as I have been doing the past week or two. You can rest assured there will not be any more interpersonal interactions, that is completely out of my system. While there is a possibility I might have become a better person during the time I was elated and intoxicated with someone else s presence, that was only temporary. Back to reality, and reality does not accommodate for distraction and intoxication.
This is not a poor me deal, simply a reality check that some people (like me)just are not designed for relationships, others are. I can work magic with people, you should see me in action at work. My clients love it when I visit their facilities, and even more so when I take the time to be human with them. Chat about life, experiences, and compare notes and war stories. With 48 different clients I am hard pressed to visit each one of them on a regular basis much less interact on a personal level, I try and the lucky ones actually may even get to know me as a person and not a representative of my employer.
Work is well work. I think the position and company I am with now are a better fit for me in life. It seems that I am a little bit mentor and little bit student in a lot of different ways. The company is owned and operated by wimmin, there are men that work there but it is two wimmin that own the company, and management is primarily all female. Outspoken, direct, boisterous, funny wimmin. In my first two weeks I had already earned their utmost respect for having settled one major clients from total upheaval and cancelling our corporate contract. Now as more time has passed and I have had many many interactions (primarily via email, but a few conversations in text or telephone), they are still validating me. Asking for my take on scenarios, considering my ideas, implementing my action plans.
This evening I stepped outside my “norm” and comfort zone and sent an email to a few of them with some funny captions I pilfered from various web pages, and they are responding with hysterics. Nothing is more validating when your boss and your boss’s boss appreciate you, and acknowledge you.
I feel good about myself this evening, I am still in motion, and some day I will be able to say life is good again and mean it, for now I will fake it till I make it.