do unto others…

Published September 15, 2013 by emotionless brain

as you would have done unto you…

Something my parents raised me by as a golden rule. As a child it is rather simple, if I wanted to share something someone else had, I had to share what I had. No matter what, food, a toy anything. The primary method my parents used to re-enforce this was negatively by reminding me how it felt when I was declined access to something I wanted. With my children I chose to remind them how good it felt when they were granted access to something they wanted. Positive vs negative re-enforcement.

As an adult, well it gets trickier, how does an adult do this? For myself I remember my childhood lessons, how does it feel to be denied or granted access? As an adult having learned this lesson as a child I can tell you there are many people that talk the talk, but do not walk the walk. I am not perfect, and I admit when I am wrong and request forgiveness when I have denied someone something.

I do not however attempt to ever teach the lesson to anyone (not my job) other than my children. There are times when I want to scream and shout “when do I get my turn?” This is a very frustrating thing for me, which takes me to lessons I learned as an adult called “Wise Mind, or Mindfulness”.

I pause and force myself to think about my response before my alligator mouth over rides the rest of me. This allows for a few things, not only do I have to say to myself before I say my response out loud to ensure there is not something I would not want said to me, but also I am able to choose different words that may not sound as judgmental. Anyone who knows me on an interpersonal level knows I am absolutely 100% not judgmental (even if it sounds like I may be). I am accepting of just about anything, my limitations being lies, deceit, stealing, dishonesty, abuse (can you blame me on these?)…

 

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One comment on “do unto others…

  • I live by the same rule as you. I work with many people who are very different from me in not only work ethic but lifestyle. I try to just sit and do my work and not let others bother me. There have been a couple of times I just had to open my mouth and I probably offended someone. I have many people at work disliking me at one point or another because I have a very strict work ethic and I just want others to do their job. When they do not I call them on it if it effects me. The bosses like it but not the co-workers. Oh well I am not there to make friends but to do my job to the best of my ability. Sorry for the rambling. I hope you have a great week. 🙂

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