Lately I have been so engrossed in work I feel like I have lost contact with everything else. Every day I am in a different city (and yes they repeat themselves), my territory or division is thousands of square miles and I have 48 different clients. All of which I have to interface with, some frequently most not so frequently. I have been in this position for two months now and I still have not met or spoken to all of my clients.
I have been distant from everyone, I am sure my daughter who lives with me would probably say lately Ima has been absent and preoccupied. Different that a few months ago. then she was smiling all the time, laughing, funny, playful. Now it is back to business, and serious about work.
Do not get me wrong I loved the person I morphed into a few months ago, that was an amazing transformation I never knew existed in me. Sadly the influence that facilitated that morphing is not an influence anymore, I am trying to keep as much of it as I can (that is exhausting alone), but I feel it slowly slipping away.
Since summer is over and school has started daily routine is slipping back into a comfort zone (no comfort zones are not always healthy but they are just that “COMFORT”). My son is still not living with me, and I miss him terribly, my daughter has become someone I do not know (or want to know). I never knew there was such a side to her, she is selfish, bratty, did I mention selfish. I take her to get a pedicure as a treat, now she expects it every time I go, I try to get to the the gym when I can maybe a couple times a week, but if she is around forget it she will not let me go. Always some drama or catastrophe that I cannot leave. Tonight a neighbor picked her up from gymnastics (I was out of town again), she was supposed to come home she had a list of what to do in the interim until I got home, but no she had to boo hoo to the neighbor “she was scared of the dark”, puleeze. The house is far from dark, she had all the lights on, and left the dogs in the house, and wen to the neighbors to play. Manipulative little girl.
That infuriated me added to last night I got home early and wanted to catch a yoga and a zumba class (they were back to back for once). I was dressed ready to go, had my water bottle was saying good bye and she started the meltdown crap. Then after I sat back down and said forget it she says “it’s ok you can go”, humpf. I know exactly where that would get me. So for the second week in a row I get no gym time, because I have a selfish bratty child. I did not spend time with her, in fact I sent her to bed early and was working.
This too shall pass as all else does. I am still in motion, I am loving the work I am doing, what more could a girl ask for?