I have had a muse for about two years now, and yes I can keep secrets. Finally today after of month of trying I had lunch with The M. I love having lunch with The M, he is my voice of reason, my rock, my pillar. While he is not a “father figure” to me, there have times I have heard his voice interjecting when making a decision. There has been more than one occasion I stepped back from something and asked “what would The M say about this?”
When I walk away from my conversations with The M, I feel elated, and light hearted, yes even if I am sniveling like a girlie. With The M, there is no facade, it is simply complex and 100% real. Today was no exception, The M is one of the five people in the world that has access to read my blog that knows me personally. While my blog muse actually was someone else, The M showed me how to find the strength and courage to go forth with it. Today he surprised me and complemented me on how my writings have “grown up” and matured, it should organically after 250+ writings. While I do not see what he sees, I trust him (and for me to have unfettered confidence and trust in someone much less a man, that is indescribably huge). I will go forth and continue to ramble, for my own therapy and amusement, as well as whoever else wants to read and be amused.
I always send The M a thank you note after we have lunch, I truly appreciate the time he takes from his schedule to sit and chat with me. He is quite brilliant, and knowledgeable too. When we used to work together every chance I could I would pick his brain about something. In fact one of my favorite pass times was to listen to The M teach “little brother” IT stuff. Today I received an unexpected response from The M, he said “he was pleased to see me so comfortable in my own skin”. That put a smile on my face like no other.
I can only hope I will be able to repay an inkling of what you provide for me. You have validated me in a way my father never knew how. Now I know I can and will conquer the world, and I wont have to fake it till I make it, cause baby I have made it…