is it real or a facade

Published October 19, 2013 by emotionless brain

Tis the season for simchas, we are in a two month stretch of have bar and bat mitzvahs nearly every weekend. The one last weekend I did not attend (it was made clear I was not an invitee by the inviter). This weekend I am going, it is someone who has been supportive of me and a friend throughout my five years in this orthodox community (no, I am not orthodox I am reform). Her son will step up to his right of passage today, there will be a tear in my eye for her and her beloved first born.

The facade is my making an appearance in a shul I have not attended in three years. I will see people that I like and dislike, know and do not know. Am I duplicitous attending? I think so, I am attending to celebrate and support my friend and her son, after all they do not offend me as others in the crowd have. To make duplicity worse I stopped attending this shul because I did not find any spirituality there, and my own son’s Bar Mitzvah will be held there (for convenience sake, his friends are orthodox).

Thank you my muse for helping me to feel more comfortable in my own skin this week,  I needs it bad today!!!! All will be well, it always is, I look my best (always do), I have nothing to hide or prove, this is not about me. I will be able to look them in the eye with my head high my back straight and confidence in my voice. They can all look at me and wonder…

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