are you angry?

One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. “You have no right teaching others,” he shouted. “You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.”

Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”

The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”

The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.”

“If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy.”

still digesting

Thursday someone accused me of being angry,I am still processing.

There was a time in my life I was an angry person, then I guess you could say I learned my lessons about anger. The losses suffered thru anger are not worth it. There was more to gain by not being angry and more to life to live. I chose the path of less resistance (the way I operate).

I do get angry at situations and I get upset with people. After all people can be very disappointing…

I am unable to wrap my head around why this individual thinks so highly of herself that I am “angry” with her or anything relating to or about her. I was angry when she hurt my daughter, but that is the mother in me protecting my child. When I saw her twice in the past few days she ignored me, granted I did not jump up and down and scream HELLO or anything, how does this make me angry? I admit I can be cynical, the language I speak with can be direct, my tone can be force full often misunderstood for condescending. But never with malice, forked tongue, or intent to hurt. I am an odd ball, thru and thru, I see things differently, I describe things differently, the word onomatopoeia comes to mind when I try to describe myself.

onomatopoeia :  the use of words whose sound suggests the sense

A word my father taught me in third grade, along with

alliteration: the use of words that begin with the same sound near one another

They have always been two of my favorite words… Sorry I digressed here, back to my alleged anger.

Moving forward, I have come the decision that I am not an angry person, and that certain individuals should look inside their own houses before accusing others of anything.

Saturday night plans

Mr.S and I had plans for Saturday night, he was allowing me to treat him for his birthday (he does not celebrate it for just cause). We had parted ways earlier in the day from the Friday Night surprise.

I purchased tickets to a musical at a local theater, it was not the one I wanted but it would work. Mr. S picked me up kind of late, just in time for the show, he claimed not to be hungry as he had a heavy lunch. So we went to the show, it was fun. We laughed and enjoyed it, afterwards we went to a local spot and had a bite to eat, it was delicious (this was not a local dive but actually one of the classier spots). We shared an artichoke appetizer that was divine, we both had different salads, and chose to decline on dessert there were only three items offered and none stood out to either of us. So we we headed back, first we stopped by my house to let my dogs out (duh I clearly was not spending the night at home again) and pack an overnight bag. The night prior I slept there I did not have a toothbrush, nor anything else I might have needed, body oil, change of clothes, medicine, etc.

After my chores were done, we headed to his house. One thing I really like about his house is the quietness, my house is a hustle and bustle by comparison even without anyone else there. I live close to a freeway, and dead smack in the middle of major traffic, plus there are two inch gaps between the exterior door and the frame. His house is serene, even though it is in the middle of remodel and partially torn up it is so calm and serene.

The mutual friend that had introduced us wanted us to go dancing with her and “Dance partner”, but alas Mr.S was not in the mood for high energy, we were both a little tired and were lavishing in the romantic evening we had shared again! So it was another night of romance and pleasure, not sure if it was mine or his probably both.

We woke Sunday morning very gently, relaxed, and romantically. We have become comfortable with each other, our bodies have found rhythm with each other. Yes we broke the “rules” and jumped into sex, we have stepped back and while we both have desire we are trying to not make it about sex. Talk about a difficult thing, when sex is good you want it right? Mr.S woke up a sleeping creature with me (I have been divorced for four and a half years), no I have not been celibate the entire time apparently just had not found the right partner.

You see I am different than a lot of women, I require a level of attraction and chemistry to be able to perform and enjoy, if the mojo inst there you can forget about it. Sure it sort of goes both ways, but a lot of men can fuck anything (most of them do), and well not that I am tooting my own horn but I am not fugly. Let me paint a picture, 5’5″, 115lbs, hair down to my mid back (curly or straight I can do both) it is auburn colour, I have hazel eyes. I am not as fit as I used to be, but three months at the gym and baby you would never know it has been 10 years since I have worked out. I believe in give and take, so if I want someone that is attractive then I need to also be attractive.

Time to go back to the gym, not because I need to loose weight, or anything like that, but because it is a healthy pattern. Exercise have more energy, feel good about myself, get into better shape, have more endurance, it will only take a few months of work to become rock hard again (and who wouldn’t feel good about that?)

Life is good, I am employed, my kids are waking up form a good night sleep with fabulous dreams, feathers are waking, furbabies are waking. While I did not see Mr.S last night (:-( ), that is ok too.

Too tired to write this evening

I told my self earlier in the day I wanted to write this evening. I spent two hours tying to sort my sons mp3 player unduplicating the music and downloading new music he wanted. Now it is late and I am too tired, and my brain will hurt if I think too hard. I will write tomorrow, but in the mean time think about this subject:

Appreciation, for yourself and for others. This is something that makes or breaks any relationship personal or work. This does not mean you have to buy gifts, or spend monies. Appreciation can be expressed in a few simple words, and in body language. I will delve into this another time but in the mean time appreciate yourself and others and don’t forget the furries, feathers, scales and shells they need love too.

 

Life is good I am going to bed the kids are tucked in dreaming about gumballs falling from the sky (a long standing joke in our family), the puppies are dreaming about bones and stinky socks, birdies are dreaming about the fabulous breakfast I will feed them in the am.