audio books

Today while putting my daughters room back together (she comes home from camp tomorrow) I was listening to an audio book called “He’s just not that into you” by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo It is in the same genre as “Not Your Mother’s Rules: The New Secrets for Dating (The Rules)” that I came across this past week.

I made the choice when I was younger to sew my oats, party, play and have fun. When I was younger I did not have the vision to marry, have kids and do the “normal” things in life. I was more a rebel with a cause (a topic for another day). Even though I men friends, and I had “fuck-buddies” I never really dated. My perception of dating was and still is that “dating” is too much work, I know nothing in life that is worth while is easy, but give me a break. Now there are books that explain “THE RULES“. It is all so tedious and consuming. Historically (admittedly not successfully after reading and listening to the audio book) if I had an interest in someone and there was chemistry we would do our thing whatever it was, if there was not any chemistry I never bothered. I could not be bothered to hang with or be touched by someone if there was no chemistry. Apparently it is a male trait that without attraction and or chemistry it does not can not will not work. Call me balanced between my estrogen and testosterone, hahahahahah  If there was not something there the I was attracted by forget it, you would not stand a chance to spend time near me.

I was a very outspoken, opinionated, never judgmental person, things have changed, I have aged, grown up, seen the light, and mellowed out. While I can be outspoken, I prefer not to be so vocal, and or expressive about everything. I spend more time observing rather than engaging. I still never judge, for I have seen what judgement does to people, and I chose to be different. If someone does something I do not agree with and it is not a threat of life and or limb I will keep my opinion to myself, only the threat of life/limb or the disruption of life are egregious enough for me to say something. When I see something I want I work towards obtaining it, whatever “IT” may be. Apparently in the dating world that is not the way things operate, who knew? Another life lesson learn the balance between when to work towards something and when not to? How confusing, and why am I supposed to participating in this game? Because it “FEELS” good? So do other things but that does not mean I do them. I am warm blooded and love sex as much as the next person, I love contact, of course it “feels good” to touch and be touched, it would be amazing to have someone in my life to have that on a regular basis. I am not sure I like it enough to play the dating games, being a single working parent with limited resources I am not sure how or if I want to “play these games”.

So that being said I have not heard from Mr. S this entire week, oh well it was a fun week we spent together. He had a very positive impact on my life in more ways than one. I am still in motion thanks to him. I will not call him, I will not text him, I will not email him. He knows how to reach me, and with my kids back home, booty calls are not a reality (I cannot bring myself to engage in sexual activity/behavior with my kids in the house no matter if they are awake or asleep and my kids are light sleepers). If it was meant to be it will be, a true test to faith.

Life is good, I will see my kids tomorrow!!!!!! I am ecstatic, elated, jovial, happy, and smiling. I will find a way once the kids are settled  in to have a social life. I have realized that I will also be a healthier person to maintain a life and an identity separate from my kids.

frustrated at my new job

20 years ago I would have walked by now. I am not afraid of work, in fact I prefer to stay busy and not by duplicating tasks. I prefer to improve work flows to allow for better patient care. After all it is the patients that allow for my paycheck. Work is not about me, or my social life, or fashion.

I cannot very well up ans tell the MD my opinion (yes opinions are like butts everyone has one that expresses). Today I was looking for a pt chart (because the insurance requested office notes), the MD asked to see the insurance request and asked me to explain my interpretation of the request. Why is she micromanaging my tasks? She hired me because I have skills (verified and validated by three previous employers when she called my references). Then I was looking for another chart, that cannot be found anywhere by anyone she advised me not to worry about it, that it would show up eventually. I explained I was not stressing over it, everyone else was, I was just trying to help and being a team member by also trying to look.

I do not understand why she invested in EHR set up and insists on using paper charts (of which she keeps every single piece of paper for ever, and insists that charts with multiple volumes are kept together and accessible. I think it might be ok to whittle the charts down, for starters superbills/charge tickets do not really belong in the “MEDICAL CHART“, and only keeping say the past year or two of test results is industry standard (not 10 years worth). What is the purpose of keeping every single paper that comes in the envelope with an EOB and or check? you can reduce space occupancy of files if you dispose of the blank papers, and the extraneous pages that are irrelevant to the payment. Just my two cents (maybe more).

Now as to the other personnel,  massive room for improvement. My only comment here is if PATIENT CARE is not what you like, then get another job.

Life is good, I am employed and Baruch Hashem for that. As to the rest, well I guess this will be a true test to my maturity skills, and my tolerance skills.